The transition from the bustling independence of college life and a new place to lay one’s head in the residence halls to the familiar comfort of “home-home” can be a bittersweet experience for college students. While the prospect of reuniting with loved ones and reconnecting with childhood roots holds immense appeal and nostalgia for some, the return home can also present a unique set of challenges.
In my last post, I explored concepts of defining home and the variables that often are associated with each of these conceptual understandings.
In this post, I explore the phenomenon of “returning home” for the first time after living in the residence halls.
1. Loss of Independence
College and residential life often fosters a sense of autonomy and self-reliance, allowing students to manage their own time, finances, and social lives. Returning home can disrupt this newfound independence, as students may once again find themselves subject to parental and family rules and expectations. This shift can be jarring and may lead to feelings of restriction and frustration.
2. Differing Expectations
Parents and students may have different expectations for the homecoming experience. Parents may anticipate a return to the pre-college dynamic, while students may desire more autonomy and respect for their evolving maturity. This clash of expectations can create tension and misunderstandings and for students who may be exploring new identities or ways of seeing this world, this can also create anxiety, frustration, and even fear.
3. Social Readjustment
College life exposes students to a diverse social landscape, providing opportunities to form new friendships and broaden their social circles. Returning home can mean reconnecting with old friends but also navigating the dynamics of a smaller social circle, which may feel limiting or unfamiliar. Further, for students whose friends have also left home, they too may be on their own journeys of exploration and growth, so what once felt close and dear could now look very different.
4. Academic Adjustment
For students who have been away for an extended period, transitioning back to their home environment can disrupt their established study habits and routines. The familiar distractions of home, such as family activities and social engagements, can make it challenging to focus on academics. For some students, they may hope to catch-up on things, whether it be overdue coursework or other items they haven’t been able to get to since going to school, but this can end up in an anxiety spiral if they put too much pressure on themselves and do not also take time to allow themselves a chance for rest and ease as well.
5. Reverse Culture Shock
College students develop their own unique culture and norms during their time away. Returning home can expose them to a different set of values, customs, and expectations, leading to a sense of reverse culture shock. This can be particularly challenging for students who have undergone significant personal growth or developed new perspectives during their college years.
Tips for a Smooth(er) Homecoming
- Open communication: Engage in open and honest conversations with parents, family members, and loved ones about expectations, boundaries, and shared goals.
- Gradual transition: Ease back into the home routine gradually, allowing time to adjust to the new environment and expectations. It is important for students to not “overschedule” themselves and to provide time for contemplative rest during breaks as well.
- Establish boundaries: Communicate personal boundaries and preferences to family members, such as needing time for privacy or study. Students may also be yearning for the chance to again just have a space to themselves—especially if this is something they were used to before going to school and they now share a room or space with another student.
- Maintain independence: Continue to allow students to manage personal finances, academic responsibilities, and social engagements to maintain a sense of self-reliance. Encouragement here is very important.
- Seek support: If facing challenges or struggles, reach out to trusted friends, family members, or others for guidance and support. Many institutions provide telehealth counseling options for students so this can be a great resource if there is an extreme sense of overwhelm or concerns with adjustment.
Returning home can be a rewarding experience, providing an opportunity to reconnect with loved ones and rediscover familiar surroundings. By acknowledging the potential challenges and proactively addressing them, college and residential students can navigate the homecoming transition smoothly and have a better opportunity to enjoy the things that may bring them a sense of joy and ease.
